da whole world is tellin to CHILL.
includin him.
but how da FARK u wan mi to?

i oledi sae befor tt i dun wan to fall into tis shit again.
but everytym i'll believe them and make myself suffer in da end.

i mean, it's like i todl u ppls tt im afraid of this shit oledi.
but ya. u ppls always make mi believe tt ther's hope in it.

den?
wad did i get back in return?
it's not da 1st tym oledi.

tis is a 3rd CONSECUTIVE one.
and im feelin tt i cant take it anymore.

1st, ther's derek.
tis is one big blow.

den ther's kenny.
another one big blow.

now, another one!

i've got a small little heart.
and too many attacks can cause heart failure.

jus wasnt myself for da past 3 daes.
wad's happenin? i duno.

sat, nearly get knocked down by car and didnt eat da whole dae.
sun, nearly cut my hands and vomitted wadever i've eaten.
todae, psycho myself to eat sth.
cuz i no if i dun eat anythin, i'll die soon.

i tot i was okie yest.
wit ppls to entertian mi da whole dae.
met up wif my dearest for dinner.
at least she's my entertianer for da nite.
and i realized tt she and her bf oso faced same prob initaially.
but they wer still happily together after like, 1 yr.
hai..
i cant even tolerate for a month.
she ask mi to cry out if i feel like last nite.
but den.
NO TEARS dropped out totally.

jojohui ask mi to chill like AGAIn.
=.="
ya. im giving him tym to tink.
and myself too.
but it's not easy to cihll for tis one whole week.
jus dun wan to be all alone.


but todae.
it's seems like da cycle is back again.
cant take it once agian.
was takin da bus to sch jus now.
and memories jus flood back again.

can someone jus JUS birng mi to a world with on love??
i wan to leaRN to survive in ther befor i return to tis world again.

or jus ask mi out to go anywher under da sun.

becuz TIS IS REALI NOT MISS GUCCI oledi.
i no u ppls nv see mi like tt befor.
even I MYSELF TOO.

so scared of my own self.
wad da fark.