suddenly felt tt im becumin a loner once again.

everyone's assumin im freakin busy.
social life gettin smaler and smaller da moment my attachment starts.
jus got tat feelin tt sometyms i'm being taken for granted.

i mean, it's like they'll oni look for u when they need u.
not for any reason, but jus for sake of being ther.

had some probs tis mornin and jus duno who to look for.
jus sooooooo.. disappointed at myself once again.

tot i've grown up, tryin to lessen other ppls's burden.
but it seems like im addin on to it.

tis HD job's givin mi alot of stress and probs.
or mayb, da main pt is im givin ppls probs.
all i wan was to try my best to do everythin nice and proper without givin others any worries.
but it seems like it's da opp.
i mean, i udn wan to get blacklisted again. but who cares anyway.
jus tt da tot of mi cant do closin for da dae, and makin other ppls to make a special trip down to da shop jus to close, makes mi feel as though im so useless and jus cant help much at all.

all along i tot. aiya. it's oni a part-tym job.
why take it so serious?
but den again,
when it cums to work, i jus wan to be serious in everythin and no longer havin fun abt.
and it's not da job tt's givin mi prob.
it's jus im not happy wit my self.
i mean, i no im not tat type of irresponsible person.
but da situation make mi seems like as though im one.
and i jus cant get over da stage of my own self.

feelin myself gettin more n more useless.
and more emotional and pesstimistic.
in da past, no matter how problematic da situation gave mi, i'll jus be optmistic and carry on.
i wont even cry over all tis shit, like wad's da pt, rite?
but now?!?!!?!?

ever since tt incident last mth.
im feelin im gettin weaker.
no longer tt strong girl tt i myself used to know.
always relyin on others when probs cum.
or was it becuz i cldnt keep it all to myself anymore.
was it becuz there's no more space for all tis shit to be kept inside.

i duno whether it's becuz of PMS/CMS tt's makin mi to feel tis way.
wonderin was my depression back again?
REALI.


i feel so..... NOT ME.